Ring.  Ring.

-- Yelllo!

-- Thorwald?

-- Talk to me, Goose!

-- Thorwald, this is Jennings, in Quality Control.

Oh, shit! Jennings!  Quick, tuck in the shirt.  No, wait, he's on the phone, he can't see your shirt, stupid.  Quick!  Say something witty!

-- Cows make a moo moo noise!

Fuck!

--  Thorwald, I don't have time to chat amiably.  I saw this morning's post.

--  Okay, uh-huh.

--  Not only has the Board expressed concerns about the growing infrequency of what can only be described as mildly entertaining observations from what we can only conclude is a severely dysfunctional mind, but we here in Kew-See have spotted some problems.

Fuck fuck.

--  Okay.  Uh-huh.

--  "Alabaster," Mr. Thorwald, is an adjective that should only be used sparingly.  According to industry standards, it should not be employed in more than 14% of annual posts, and yet our records reflect that you used it once in each of your last three items.  And in each event you used it to describe skin tone.

--  I...just.

--  Please save your sorries in a satchel, Thorwald, and hear me loud and clear.  The Company has issued to you a fresh thesaurus.   You got it in January.  We expect you to use it.  There is no excuse for using the exact same descriptor for milky white skin three times consecutively.  It distracts the reader and tarnishes this outfit's good name and reputation.  We cannot allow our goodwill to be eroded by your lackluster efforts.  Your typos alone are headache enough.

--  It was funny?

--  I am ignoring that frail attempt at explanation and noting this call in your file.  If you have no questions, I suggest you tuck in your shirt and get back to work.

Damn it! 

--  Okay.

--  This call has been monitored for training purposes. 

Click.

Comments

[TitsMcGee]

Do you have something against quotation marks? Well, do ya, punk?